Bethann Hardison: A certain selfishness is very important to have
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In our continuing series on documentaries-on-fabulous-women, please take a look at Invisible Beauty, about the inimitable Bethann Hardison. (Yes, technically the film has been out on Hulu for awhile, but Bethann just had an excellent interview with People Mag this week so I’m counting it as a new entry!) After working as a runway model in the 1960s (Bethann is stuh-ning, with an eccentric sense of style I adore), she teamed up with Iman to create the Black Girls Coalition in 1988. BGC was/is a groundbreaking agency that spotlights Black creatives in the fashion and beauty industries. So yeah, it’s about time we have a Bethann Hardison doc. She’s as busy as ever, and just shared some fountains of wisdom with People:
Travel alone! “I always say to young women, ‘Take a trip by yourself.’ Stop telling yourself you have to be with others. Some people, they just don’t feel good if they don’t have somebody sitting next to them that they know. But I think you always do better when you travel alone. You get to know more interesting things and more interesting people. People approach single people traveling alone more quickly than if they were sitting with other people. … I’m always around a lot of people, but I do like being alone. It’s a wonderful thing, and it’s wonderful when you know it.”
With beauty, less is more: “I never wash my face twice a day. Only once. I spritz my face every day with rosemary glycerin and use a CBD face oil. It’s really nice. I don’t wear makeup all the time, just usually when I go out to an event, and then as natural as possible. I used to always, always, always use mascara no matter what — I don’t do that anymore. I don’t even think twice about it.
Good selfishness: “A certain selfishness is very important to have. When I was a kid, my father, who I admired greatly, called me selfish once, and I was so hurt. But when he saw that I was so bummed out, he had to come to me and explain what selfishness could be without it being negative. You do have to do that and have that attitude with yourself and care a lot more for yourself.”
Wait, is she subtly shading Naomi Campbell here? It’s especially nice to go to another country and find some wellness place [to meditate]. Naomi Campbell always said to me, ‘I want to send you this place.” Oh, years gone by and decades went by. And then when my birthday was coming up, and it was a significant birthday, I took myself to Turkey, to The Life Co. And it’s really, really nice. It’s a place of detoxification, but you learn a lot.”
Stretch thyself, literally: “I stretch all the time. I’m getting ready to have a knee replacement coming up, and I’m doing prehab exercises for that. But I do stretch. I’m on the bike a lot. I was an athlete. I ran track when I was a young kid. This one woman told me that she notices that whenever someone is toned like [I am]. If they had ever been an athlete, they still hold that form in their tone of their body. That may be true. … I am always doing some sort of exercise, but it’s never a consistent thing anymore. But what I would like to do is get into doing heavy weights, or boxing.”
Oh great, someone else telling me I should be exercising. I guess I can start with a simple stretch. But to any prospective parents out there: get ‘em started young! Cause my mother did ballet through her teens, and da-yum are her legs still toned from that, like Bethann describes. Where my mother would quibble with her, though, is on the minimal makeup regimen. I once made the mistake of informing my mother that I would be attending a party hosted by BD Wong. What followed was a flood of texts from her, as follows: “I know you don’t wear makeup much these days, and not that you’re not beautiful because YOU ARE but please put on some concealer, mascara, blush, and lipstick before you go. BD Wong famously wore makeup when he was in M. Butterfly!”
There’s so much to enjoy here from Bethann. I love it each and every time we hear a woman touting the virtues of traveling alone. I’ve always been told I do too much on my own, but Bethann’s counsel spurs me on! As do her comments on the importance of selfishness. What a wonderful father she had, too, who noticed her reaction and took the time to explain and reframe the word for her. Good selfishness: like good trouble, only you’re advocating for a positive relationship with yourself.
photos credit: Jennifer Bloc/Future Image/Cover Images, Joe Sutter / Avalon, Getty
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