Rachel Uchitel: If 9/11 never happened Id be fat and happy with kids

Tiger Woods’ first known mistress Rachel Uchitel has an epic interview with The Daily Mail in which she gives us even more evidence that she’s a self absorbed piece of work. It’s pretty phenomenal how narcissistic and full of herself she comes across, and I’ve read prior interviews with her and had the lowest expectations. In this interview, Rachel tries to portray herself as this victim of circumstance on one hand (her fiance died in the Twin Towers on 9/11) and as a bootstrapping entrepreneur on the other. She only manages to come across as completely superficial and willing to use whatever excuses she can to justify her behavior.

On how she would be “fat and happy” if 9/11 never happened
“People have called me all sorts of names, but they don’t know me. I am not the same as the other girls and I never ever imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be caught up in a scandal like this. If things had been different and 9/11 had never happened, my life would have taken a different course. I’d be fat and happy, living in a big house in Long Island with a load of kids. I’m only telling my story now so that people can discover what sort of girl I am and learn the truth about me. If they still choose to hate me, then so be it. But I never set out to hurt anyone.”

Interviewer on how she constantly asks if she’s fat
In person, Rachel is tiny. Like so many women in Los Angeles, she has generously proportioned artificial breasts, plumped-up lips and a body kept whippet-thin with daily two-hour sessions in the gym (she’s clearly obsessed by her weight and constantly asks me if she looks fat). She has bought a pretty floral dress especially for our photoshoot but admits: ‘It is not something I would normally be caught dead in. But I want to show a different side of me. I’ve been branded as a scarlet woman but I am much, much more than that.’

Claims she’s a love addict, will never sleep with a married man again
“People don’t really understand love addiction, but I think a lot of women will relate to it. Instead of filling themselves with booze or drugs, love addicts become emotionally invested in a series of bad relationships. Since I lost Andy, I have always been looking for the perfect man. I wanted a man who would marry me, give me the house and children I long for. I plunged headfirst into relationships which I should never have been in.”

I ask her if she regrets sleeping with a married man: “Yes, of course,” she snaps. “I will never, ever do that again.”

On how she coped after her fiance died
“I sat in the closet in his clothes just to smell him. The doctors gave me pills to sleep. That’s when my addiction to Ambien started (Rachel allegedly introduced Tiger to the sleeping drug he took before he crashed his car). Andy’s credit cards were returned, burned, in the mail. Every day they would find bits of his life, a burned driver’s licence or whatever, and I would have to open the envelope.

“I went through hell. I fell to pieces. When the one-year anniversary of 9/11 happened, most of his friends had moved on. People we knew had married and were starting families. I felt robbed.”

On how she got a job as a club promoter
After that, Rachel says: “I had to leave New York and move on with my life for my own sanity. I had to reinvent myself.” She loaded her belongings into her car and headed west to Las Vegas, where her grandfather had a house.

Within months she had landed a job as head of VIP operations at Tao Nightclub in The Venetian casino. She later acted in a similar role at other clubs in Vegas, including The Bank at Bellagio.

“I am not a whore, nor am I a girl impressed by money or fame,’ she says. ‘I have a brain and I came from money. I never needed any man’s money.’

On how she knew bigwigs and got them hookers
“I still have my little black book and it has 5,000 men in there who are pretty much the men who run the world,” she says grandly.

“My life became one of private jets. My job was to get the high-rollers, or whales as we called them into the club and give them anything and everything they wanted to have the best night of their lives – guys who would order 100 bottles of Cristal champagne in a night or even blow $500,000 [£300,000] on one night of partying.

“If they wanted steak, they got steak. If they wanted a certain song, I”d get it played on a loop all night. A Saudi prince loved Uptown Girl so I sent someone out to get it and that prince had Uptown Girl all night.

“And if they wanted girls, I’d get them girls, though you have to understand I never got involved in that side of things. Of course, some of the girls were hookers. And others would sleep with men for gifts. But I didn’t force anyone to do anything. These were consenting adults. I was there to work and make money. It was strictly business.” She claims she earned £300,000 a year: “I was paid well and got huge tips. I deserved it. I was good at my job.”

[From The Daily Mail]

It’s as if she had no other options after losing her fiance than moving to Vegas, becoming a club promoter and glomming on rich men. She supposedly worked as a television producer at Bloomberg beforehand. It goes on, but I’ll spare you. Rachel refuses to talk about her rumored $10 million settlement from Tiger, but the interviewer notes that Rachel has purchased an over $3 million penthouse in New York and that she still owns a condo in Vegas. Oh and Rachel also puts in some digs at Tiger’s other mistresses, calling Mindy Lawton (the HoJos hostess) “poor Mindy” and saying of Jaimee Grubbs “The poor girl had a tooth missing. Honestly! She was toothless!” These other girls are “poor” to Rachel because they weren’t “smart” enough to blackmail Tiger as effectively as she was. She “never needed any man’s money” but she sure took a huge chunk of it when the opportunity presented itself.

Here’s Rachel with her date Jason “Gummi Bear” Davis at a charity event on 10/23/10. Maybe she’s with him because she knows he could never make her look fat. Credit: WENN.com

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